all my fucking money is going down the fucking drain lol
its like. what the fuck
i'm so fucking annoyed i can't deal with anything. like am i just pmsing this hard orrrr
ugh. anyway. i made a forum and i like it i switched the backgrounds on everything. i cancelled my therapist appointment because i realized it was weird to do through my work. can i fucking have anything. i work 9 hour days and the room is a fucking mess and i feel like everytime i fucking do anything it doesnt even fucking matter. i clean the room its destroyed again in a few days, i hang up laundry its all on the floor now. i do ANYTHING and it is not reciprocated and it's like so fucking draining
hopefully this is literally just pmsing because if i'm just starting to get sick of everything this much i will actually just disappear whether that means kill myself or move across the country again. idk. i'm just so fucking overwhelmed all the time. i'm trying to save money to move out of this house and into an apartment but i have to pay BILLLLSS FOR TWO PEOPLEEEEE and thats fine but now i have to pay to get my cat neutered when we're literally going to get rid of him. and i know that sounds fucking insensitive but i didnt even coherently agree to get him (i have 2 female cats) (he rapes them) (he wakes me up every night multiple times a night and shits on the floor and pisses on everything). spraying him w a bottle does NOT fucking work he does not care and all he does is fucking hurt my cats and i can't even keep them separated. because im stuck in this tiny fucking room and i fucking hate it here so fucking much. i feel like i don't get fucking breathing room because all i do is work and come home to the fucking destroyed room. and then i'm just fucking overwhelmed because everything is everywhere. and people are always fucking yelling and banging fucking doors because i live with 6 other people. and my boyfriend is always shouting because the FUCKING CAT IS CLAWING HIM and i can't get a breath of fresh air EVER. this is like my only outlet. this website is literally all i fucking have rn to distract myself from living in this fucking house.
i am living in someones FUCKING MOMS HOUSE WHERE I CANT DO ANYTHING I CANT COOK I CANT PLAY MUSIC I CANT LEAVE THE HOUSE LOL I FUCKING HATE THISSSSSSS
jesus fucking christ if i don't get a fucking break soon i'm going to go fucking insane again
i think i may have fucked up. i'm not sure. i made another thing that i can't even say here but i'm regretting it. i mdae it so fucking manic and i am so so tired. i work all the time i'm tired of always moving and doing things. maybe today is just a bad day. maybe i sleep on it. ugh. i'm so tired im so tired i am tired/ i havent even had time for this website. i don't have time for ANYYYTHINGGG i'm so tired oh my god i am tired. i'm trying to refresh myself with a face mask. i took hydroxyzine (save me) and i don't feel it yet. ugh. this is not for me. every time i think it is i'm wrong. i regret making this i'm gonna have to purge everything off the internet again UHGHHHHHHHH. i should do it sooner than later i think. i don't know. i can't neccesarily back out now idon't think. does it hold me to posting??? i don't know maybe if i just disappear for a few days nobody will notice
update: deleting it i think